I want to discuss my mental health for a moment. Please know that this is not a cry for help. I am not, nor have I ever been suicidal. I am completely able to care for myself and my family. I am surrounded by people that are aware of my struggle with anxiety and depression. They love and support me and I know I can go to them for help with anything. My goal is to help motivate myself to get out of this (temporary) slump and also open up a discussion with others. I have found that discussing my struggles openly allows others to feel safe to share or ask questions and often allows me to learn from them. Some days I feel balanced and happy and have enough energy that I want to save the world. Others days I have to coach myself off the couch. I hate that my mental state can fluctuate so much and that a downward spiral can result from a strangers rude comment or a change in weather.
Today I feel overwhelmed and unfocused. It isn't terrible but enough that I don't feel like myself. I am pretty sure I can identify several contributors: I changed the location of my medication in the house and have forgotten to take it the last two days (20 mg of citalopram for anyone wondering), Joel got home late yesterday and Aria was needier than usual so I was stressed out by the time she went to bed, I have a HUGE pile of dirty dishes on the counter, clean dishes and laundry need to be put away, Aria has been waking up in the middle of the night for the past few days so I am tired, I have a to do list that has not been touched in a while, it is cold and snowy outside and I miss the sun.
Basically I have things I need to do but I don't want to! I want to sit on the couch, watch a movie or waste time online and then take a shamefully long nap. This is what depression looks like for me. I feel overwhelmed and my response is to sleep and avoid. I have found that this doesn't actually help me feel better. Don't get me wrong, I give myself space to do this. Yesterday I stayed in pajamas and took it easy but I know that it is best that I don't let this trend continue. The dirty dishes, laundry and to do list will continue to grow and become even more overwhelming. Here are some things I have found that help me start feeling better.
remember to take my pill everyday
praise God for all the positives in my life and ask for help with the negatives
remember my favorite quote, " You can always choose to perceive things differently, you can focus on what's wrong in your life, or you can focus on what's right." ~Marianne Williamson
play music (that isn't depressing)
diffuse essential oils (lavender or lemon)
start my to do list, beginning with the worst things first because it feels so good to get those things crossed off the list and if I leave them for the end it makes me procrastinate everything so that I never have to do it
I have done a lot of counseling and would highly recommend that for anyone that has depression, anxiety or just doesn't feel like themselves.
I am interested in learning about the use of Niacin/Vitamin B3 for anxiety and depression so if you have any knowledge/experience in regards to that let me know.
What works for you? Comments or questions... please be nice though as I am in a sensitive mental state :-)
Ok. Time to start the dishes. I know it will make me feel better!